


Scarcely any Passion without Struggle

by Deniera



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Awkward Sexual Situations, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Ficlet, First Time, Frottage, Kissing, M/M, Sexual Inexperience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:39:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9983216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deniera/pseuds/Deniera
Summary: Yuuri had always considered himself to be not too interested in sex. And while he loves and desires Viktor, they initially struggle as Yuuri realises he has a hard time to figure out what he might like and dislike in the bedroom.





	

**Author's Note:**

> "There is scarcely any passion without struggle."  
> \- Albert Camus
> 
> Not beta read.

 

 

Yuuri had always considered himself to be not too interested in sex.

 

He had gone 23 years quite comfortably without showing any particular interest in the act itself or sexual relationships, jerking off only on occasion, and more to take care of an edge he couldn’t otherwise get rid off than to actually pleasure himself. Maybe he had glanced at posters of Viktor while doing it here and there, but that was always by coincidence. Never had he looked at him in that way consciously or with impure intentions, never with any feelings besides admiration.

And then he had met Viktor in person.

Viktor was a natural phenomenon, like a thunder storm you watch mesmerized from the distance until you’re suddenly in the middle of it, panicking because of how loud and wild and close it is.

That was how first meeting Viktor had felt. Yuuri’s mind had gone into full-blown chaos upon seeing the naked man, his idol, in all his glory in his family’s onsen.

 

 

When they first sleep together, it is Yuuri who’s doing the penetrating. Viktor had reckoned Yuuri’d be more comfortable with it for his first time, not wanting to impose the rather long and exposing process of proper cleaning and prepping upon him until they were more familiar and comfortable with each other’s body.

Viktor had shown him how the preparing was done, finally ripping Yuuri out of his anxiousness that had overcome him at the prospect of them doing _it_. He had followed the instructions with interest, intend to learn and remember for the next time and Yuuri couldn’t help but stare breathlessly as Viktor’s body had closed around three of his own fingers and he had looked up at him coyly from under his lashes.

It all went downhill from then.

The actual act had left Yuuri short of devastated, convinced that he did terrible and that there was definitely something wrong with him. He didn’t enjoy it at all, lost as to what to do, unsure how to move, overwhelmed by the responsibility he felt. All through it he had felt like he’d been wrapped in cotton wool, not really feeling anything at all.

He had come, staining the condom Viktor had put on him, but he felt crushed with disappointment. It took Viktor quite some time and a lot of kisses to convince him that no, he absolutely did not mind, that they would just try again and yes, he still loved him and wanted to be with him.

 

 

After that unfortunate first time, it had taken Yuuri quite a while to shyly grab Viktor’s hand and pull him to bed with a small smile to try again.

Against all hopes though, the experience almost repeated itself.

Viktor did try his best, spreading his legs wide for Yuuri, guiding him through it again, caressing him endlessly into relaxation, telling him to just feel without any expectations, to just stop thinking, that he wasn’t hurting him, he was doing great, but. Yuuri was tense and self-conscious and in the end he just wanted to cry.

Again, Viktor pulled him into his arms while telling him he was sorry, apparently equally frustrated by his own inability to comprehend why exactly it just didn’t work.

 

It takes them even longer for another approach.

 

This time though, Viktor insists there be no penetration at all. Instead, he pushes Yuuri onto his back, slides between his legs and kisses him deeply. Yuuri moans and Viktor rubs their cocks together, Yuuri feeling himself harden within seconds.

They rock with each other, slick and heat accumulating between their bodies and Yuuri’s moans get louder and louder, his whole body melting under Viktor as his hands claw at his shoulders for leverage, keeping the other man as close as possible. He hides his face in Viktor’s neck, marvelling at the feeling of having him between his legs, over him, on him, and _this_ feels so natural and easy and right that he sobs in relief and happiness when he comes between their bellies. 

 

 

The first time Viktor pushes into him, it’s like a revelation. He had liked the careful fingering they had done previously, but actually feeling Viktor slide and pulse in him is a whole new level of intimacy. He squirms on the sheets, breathing heavy against Viktor’s neck as the man whispers “Relax, my love” into his ear and he moans at each of the gentle thrusts he can feel so intensely, his whole body shivering.

He doesn’t need much for his completion, the little friction of Viktor’s stomach against the head of his cock enough to push him over the edge and his orgasm blows his mind as he throws his head back with a desperate cry. When he comes back to his senses Viktor is still in him, hard, holding himself over Yuuri and watching him with an amazed expression.

“Vitya” Yuuri murmurs and reaches up to cup Viktor’s face, pulling him down, and Viktor shudders, groans and pushes his face into the crook of Yuuri’s neck, grinding is hips deep into him. Yuuri moans at the sensation, spent but enjoying it nonetheless, and urges Viktor on with little sighs and kisses to his face until he feels him shudder and moan loudly and pulse in him, and all Yuuri wants is to be even closer, closer, so he wraps his arms and legs around Viktor, grinding his pelvis against him, trying to get him deeper, to get more, more of this, more of their intimacy, more of Viktor.

 

After that it seems like his libido is an endless pit with all the desire and want he feels, like it has awoken from a deep, long slumber. He thinks he finally understands what people are so crazy about.

Penetration is suddenly a topic again, and Viktor is almost, just almost embarrassed at the rate they go through their condoms, with Yuuri being so desperate and needy for him. Eventually Yuuri feels bold enough to try some of the other positions Viktor suggested and discovers that he likes riding him almost just as much as having him on top in missionary. 

 

At one point guilt overcomes him and he asks Viktor if he’d like to switch sometimes, if Yuuri is denying him anything with their by now almost fixed roles in the bedroom, but Viktor just laughs and tells him he doesn’t mind what exactly they do, as long as he can be close to Yuuri. He’s still hesitating, until Viktor takes his face in both hands to kiss him and, with a cheeky smile, admits that it’s also okay because he really enjoys watching Yuuri loose his mind on his dick.

To which Yuuri blushes furiously, but somehow, he can work with that.

 

After taking so long to figure out the perfect formula for them it takes even longer to get back to a normal daily routine uninterrupted by desperate bouts of sex whenever they just look at each other. Yuuri shows no signs of being any less desperate for it for weeks, but when their excessive private activities start to take a toll on his body and influence his training, they both agree they have to cut it down.

Finding a routine that works with both of their training schedules is a bit tricky at first.

Both of them are usually completely tired out in the evening from their day on the ice, and the mornings rarely provide enough time for anything but naked touching and frotting against each other, but Yuuri finds he doesn’t mind that much as it means he doesn’t have to deal with the resulting physical strains he can usually feel for quite a while after having Viktor inside him, and he finally lands his quads properly again.

It also means they both take at least one day off each week, their compromise, at which they wake up early together and take their sweet time for themselves, and Yuuri can finally, finally have his Viktor close to him again. They usually get up way past noon on those days.  

 

 

Yuuri had always considered himself to be not too interested in sex. But, he muses one Saturday morning with Viktor lying naked and relaxed next to him, he is quite happy his husband had been able to make him reconsider.  

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, hello, this is a thing about sex. That’s all, bye. 
> 
> Seriously, this started with a thought that jumped me while lying in bed after reading something about ‘Powerbottom Yuuri’ and while I usually like a realistic approach on gay relationships, thus including switching, I couldn’t get rid of thinking how it would play out if Yuuri really didn’t enjoy topping at all and having a hard time to figure out what he’s into.
> 
> And here it is. I’m sorry, I hope you had fun with it anyway. 
> 
> I haven’t written anything in forever, so I’d be really happy if you told me what you think.


End file.
